Oh, bother the flowers of spring

(I'm just hoping that her japanese music is not visual kei >>;)
it means big name in fandom, like the people who seem to be friends with everyone that write a lot of meta and fic and yes. like hacylon_morn or mistful or bookshop. (It's too early in the morning for me to think of one in jfandom, but if you've ever been in hp fandom, then you would understand;;)

From:

lastingdreams8.livejournal.com

Ahh yes..that would be a bummer.
Oh, thank you :)
That would be interesting too, if she were:)

From:

When are you leaving?
I want to see you again before you go! I really miss you, you know :(

From:

I leave on like the 21st and I've family hanging around. but I'm sure there's half a day free, somewhere in my schedule...(sorry, I'm a terrible person who sucks at keeping in touch with people)

haha, really? I've sort of assumed you cared about hanging out with katie a lot more then me so I've been sulking about it xD
also I've your lit mag and thumb drive, so I'll at least see you to return those :3

randomly, I went to karaoke with one of the creators of the hp musical. I kind of ignored him to talk to the japanese girl who didn't speak much english, haha

From:

My cousin is coming into town in like two days, but I'm sure I can find time, too. I'm not going to let you leave without hanging out with me once more ;) Lol, so am I. Oh dear. This is going to be trouble later, isn't it? :P

I kind of want to write you an epic letter telling you a bunch of things, but basically I can say:
Maybe, a very long time ago, I was a completely horrible person who- I don't know... took your friendship for granted. And I- didn't consciously do it, but I realize now that I did, and I feel like a complete idiot, because meeting you completely changed my life, and how could I have forgotten that? I'm really sorry, and I know you probably can't forgive me for it, but I hope we can try to overcome me being a bitch- because it doesn't make sense to me to both be sitting here breathing and to not be friends like we were before. Because I miss that more than I've ever missed anything.

Katie hasn't really spoken to me in like a month.
I don't really know what's going on, but I kept trying to make up with her near the end of school and she just sort of- completely ignored me. I'm out of freaking ideas at the moment, and I'm not sure weather I'm supposed to be trying to get over this or whether I'm supposed to be trying to get her back, and I'm just. Really confused and lost and I kind of feel like something died in me. God damn it- sorry. Shutting the fucking up.

Lol I thought you had it! I was wondering where it had gone to XD
I have your Ray Bradbury book, so we're even :P

RIGHT NOW I REALLY AM MAKING THIS FACE AT YOU :O
YOU AISD;FLKJF YOU IGNORED HIM. YOU IGNORED HIM.
THE HP MUSICAL IS GOLLDDDDDD. GOLD. I HAVE IT ON MY IPOD AND NINA AND I QUOTE IT IN LIKE EVERY SENTENCE WE SAY.

Edited Date: 2009-08-12 09:00 am (UTC)

From:

I don't think you understand that Katie is a ridculous person that you need to hang around even when they don't look like they want you to because she needs a zookeeper/maintenance and doesn't even call me when I'm the only friend she hangs out with. respond to her lj posts! and don't defriend her on lj if you want her to think you care :\ I haven't talked to you in a month either, and here we are.

BWAHAHA SMUGNESS i HAS IT. he was actually pretty nice/indie- someone who would definitely hang out with Rachel's friend Sabrina (she went to Azkatraz and came back with mad connections). I was like eh, maybe we shouldn't invite them to karaoke, even though you wanted to hang out with them but we already have this planned...and she was like hah! if we take him to karaoke he'll have a really weird time he won't forget! >D and that was that. xD So out of all the people he's hung out with, he'll probably vaguely remember me because we made him do weird things like eat boba~ ahahaha

From:

...but does she even like me anymore?
I really keep getting the vibe from her that she just doesn't care about me and doesn't want to be my friend- so I stopped because it felt like I was fighting a pointless battle.
When she posts stuff like "it's too late to try" I get so fucking depressed that I just can't deal with myself- so I defriended her in a moment of panic because my emotions were completely insane and I wasn't thinking healthy thoughts. I mean, I know I need to put forth effort and she, like, isn't good at keeping in touch or- whatever- but I kind of feel like you put this all on me, and I'm the same way as you guys. I don't know, maybe I'm being selfish.
I know you're really good at sympathizing with Katie, but I just wish you'd think of me a little and the fact that you both haven't talked to me and you're leaving for college, and I read those livejournal posts and they're always about how much fun you guys are having without me. Do you expect me to read that and not feel like complete shit? It's kind of hard to keep up with your livejournal when that's what you guys talk about. Do you want me to lie and act like it doesn't hurt? Or do you want me to bitch about it every time? Because that's kind of all I feel like I'm capable of doing. I'm sorry I have to keep tearing you up about this- I know you're caught in the middle and that must really, really suck- and I know you don't deserve it, but I just. Want to fix this. And you seem like the only person who'll even listen. :P

Oh my god. Basically I just hate you forever. YOU DRANK BOBA WITH THE MAKER OF AVPM, GOD. You and your smugness :P

From:

ugh it's times like this that make me remember why it used to be me that made us all hang out.
still, I understand the getting depressed at a single statement, because a lot less then that can make a wasteland of my mood. so maybe you should stay defriended. I don't know. I feel like both of you are too similar and hesistate in the same places. idek I feel like I suck at mediating and thus shan't bother.

basically, I feel like the while intense friendship thing only worked because she felt unconditionally liked (which apparently like never happens outside of family for her) and then when both of you were aagh at one another she was led to believe that some times she thought you were okay with her, you weren't actually, so now she's going to doublethink everything and never let down her guard around you because she'll always have that shaken trust/doubt, so I don't know if it can be completely fixed. God save me from sensitive types- I don't know why it should matter so much. some people just need to be more self-involved and less self-aware. :\ just ignore her ramblings online/don't give her an excuse to argue with you, call her every once in a while and talk about shallow things and she'll visit you on the holidays. (don't get offended if this seems to be advice for the party in the wrong- whenever I respond to a situation I always act like I'm in the wrong because I'm too agitated to press the point/believe I'm wrong anyways when dealing with katie, so that's the only kind of advice I know how to give)

idek this is where I stop and throw up my hands. you can talk to me whenever you need to talk, but if you don't want to read my posts feel free not to- I'll always be there if you need it, so long as I don't have craazy essays due or something.

From:

Okay, so finally I understand what's going on at least. Thank you, sweetie :/
I'm not offended, and I appreciate it a lot :)
You're a really good friend- I'm really sorry that I didn't tell you enough. I should've said it every day :(

From:

aigoo. i'm sorry i'm always so much trouble to deal with ): but thanks for putting up with me anyways. :)

From:

:\ (http://dokutoku-ai.livejournal.com/25769.html#cutid2)

From:

god. you. i'd be hurt by the heechul comparison if i didn't already know how utterly true it was but just i am like this dkjsklf. ...except really i'm more like this ;________________________;

i knew i was right when i made you the Han to my Chul ♥

From:

dork. it was the other way around.

From:

wait, now you've lost me. you're not the han to my chul? ... ;__________;?

From:

I made you my chul. you had no active role in the matter

From:

well, yes, you made me chul, but i do believe it was not explicitly stated the you were my han until i said so over msn. but whatever. as long as we're hanchul i'm cool. take the credit ♥

From:

tch difficult. *pokes* this is why I don't argue ♥

From:

...i feel, somehow, i just epically proved the heechul point... I DON'T MEAN TO BE DIFFICULT AHHHHH ASKFJLASKJFALSK. XDDDD

From:

LOL x forever

From:

From:

...

From:

looking back, this conversation makes me lol so hard. :D

From:

I resent that zookeeper/maintenance comment. ): (which is to say i loled really hard and my brain kept going "you look like an elephant, you look like an alligator, you look like nicholas cage!" suju ruined my brain forever)

From:

how bored are you??

From:

LOLOL. i have nothing better to do with my life. i haven't even taken my shower yet. and i finally just ate./ fail.

From:

ALSO I WOULD CALL YOU BUT YOU HAVE FAMILY. AND CAMP FRIENDS. DSKJFGJAS I DON'T WANT TO INTRUDE ;________________________; (because if you get sick of me basically i am screwed for life and will never have friends ever again, no pressure or anything)

tell me ~~sowanuel marhaeba?~~ when you're free and i'll go akjjsl then we should hang out and you'd go tomorrow and i'd say seven and we'd be like YEAH!!11!BATTLE PLA~YAN!!11!!!!~ seriously. ): i swear. or at least we'd do it online, which i actually prefer :DDDDDD /hint

Edited Date: 2009-08-12 10:22 pm (UTC)

From:

does not get sick of things, eh

ooh baby I should have known you were into that but I prefer the warmth of your touch ♥ ~~NOT THIS~~

O rly is that what it means?

From: